“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” -Hebrews 12:1-3 My emphasis added.
I’m weary about every day.
Heck, even my name means “weary” in Hebrew. That’s depressing.
I totally underestimated the time, patience, and lack of rest that three children would require. While I treasure them as my greatest earthly blessing, motherhood is hard work! My human flesh wants to stay in bed some days and eat french toast and watch British-based PBS shows, not wrestle with Legos or do another.load.of.laundry.
I really struggled after the birth of C. My hormones were out of whack, Brian and I were in a busy season, and of course I wasn’t sleeping. I was a wreck. There was little joy. Little enthusiasm. And many tears. (I probably should have sought out help for PPD, but I did not. I beg of you to please please please reach out if you are feeling hopeless after having a baby- it was bad! Please email me if you need to! Please!!)
Here’s the deal- Seasons of life will come and go, but Jesus is ALWAYS our rest.
For the joy set before HIM. HE endured the Cross.
Consider HIM who ENDURED such opposition, so that YOU will NOT GROW WEARY.
(I can type that now, I could not have 6 months ago- no guilt here.)
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.
And tomorrow will look imperfect. There will probably be things I don’t like, and definitely things I would change.
I do not take this well. There are nights when I’ll lay in bed and tell Brian that I’m not sure I can do it all over again. That the mundane has stolen my joy.
Then I remember that my greatest sin is my unbelief. And it’s not that I don’t believe in Christ or in His saving work, it’s that I don’t believe that this work is worth it or that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I don’t need to go to the jungles of the Amazon or the dusty streets of Haiti for mission work, I can go to the dining room table where there are three little hearts that need to see my joy and my peace and hear of the joy set before Him.
He died to live.
In my own selfishness, I must die (to sin) to find life (in Jesus).
I’m thankful for my Savior.