I’ve been thinking of this post for a long time, but I’ve noticed a few other posts in blogland that also talk about marrying young so I debated whether to share our experience. You can never have enough of a good thing, though, right? So here’s 5 reason why I think marrying young is the way to go…
1. Maturity isn’t a number. I’ve met 18 year olds that act like they are 30, and I’ve met 30 year olds that don’t act a day over 18. I don’t think there’s a perfect number out there for when you should take the plunge into matrimony. I think all things considered one should look at whether they really feel this is the man or woman they can do covenant-style marriage with, every day for all days.
2. Instance Cure for Selfishness. Marriage should never be approached as “making life better” in the sense that you hope once you marry someone they’ll stop being a real jerk. Ha. But marriage will cure your selfishness, and in a day-and-age of the #selfie generation, we could all use a step away from thinking the world revolves around us. Putting someone else first, ironing their work shirts, or helping out with chores will make you realize quickly that you aren’t here only for you. If you wait to do that for the first time when you are 35, yikes, it’s going to be a harder transition!
3. You’ll Grow Up Together. Brian and I started dating the weekend I turned 16. Not everyone goes that far back with their spouse, but the thing I’ve noticed with friends that met in college or beyond is we had a lot less drama or baggage to work through. He was there when I got college acceptance letters, and I was there to edit his first resume. There’s not much to surprise you when you’ve done most of your “firsts” together.
4. There Will be Plenty of Want. I always giggle when the pastor at a wedding says, “In plenty and in want” instead of “for richer or poorer,” it’s like by changing the wording things will work out better. Brian and I made a lot of dumb decisions when we first got married (before we tuned in to the teachings of Dave Ramsey), but either way, we were broke and pretty much had the money from our wedding as our back-up plan. I was still in college and writing papers in our closet. No joke, we had removed the 2nd murphy bed and put my desk in the closet! When we had friends over we flipped our murphy bed into the wall and got out a card table! Ha! You could also sit on the toilet, put your hands in the sink, and your feet in the bathtub- our apartment was a love nest and that is all! I still choke up when I hear John Denver sing, “I know we ain’t got money, but I’m so in love with you honey…” I know that a lot of parents don’t want their kids (i.e. young adults) to get married because they don’t think they’ll be able to afford it. And you know what- they won’t!! But they’ll do what the rest of us did and they’ll have to figure it out. I believe that if you guide them into staying out of debt and living on less than they make, they will be fine! Let them live off of love for awhile (and please preach this to me when my kids want to marry at 20. ;))
5. Sexual Sins. I’m a Christian, so it has to be said. The longer you meddle in serious relationships, the more sexual sin you are going to have to deal with. One of you may come to the marriage with a past, or maybe you delayed marriage and now you’ve crossed the line you hoped to keep. We remember what being teenagers and young adults was like (AHHHH!) and I think there’s something to be said for setting a standard…and then not having a long engagement!! I have no idea how we will broach this subject as parents (Lord, help us!), but I think as a Christian community we need to be more upfront and vocal about this topic.
Would you add anything? Did you marry young and think it taught you something?
I’m by no means saying that marriage (young or old) is always fun or easy- we have both made a LOT of mistakes over the years!