When Motherhood Takes All
Oh friends, I have two half-written posts, scrap paper with blog ideas overflowing, and social media shares still residing safely in my bookmarks. Everything is just there. Waiting for me.
It’s funny how every week I set out to do things and every week I’m buried somehow between loads of laundry, a crockpot soaking in the sink, and homeschool and shopping and well, LIFE. Short of having a Jessie Spano meltdown (THERE’S NO TIME, THERE’S NEVER ANY TIME), I muster through until back-up arrives (i.e. Daddy) and then get 30 minutes to myself before bedtime rituals and I’m sunk.
I’m not saying this to complain. Oh, no. I know that many people dream of having little babies under foot! I’m a blessed lady.
However, when having little ones you’ll often hear the adage, “This is a season…” You know what, it is. It is definitely a season. Then there are 3 weeks maybe where life seems easy and everyone is fit-free and happy and then we’ll hit a plague of the stomach flu. Cue a week of chaos.
But while we think of the seasons of babies and diapers and exhaustion, there is probably a new season on the horizon and it may involve bullies or girlfriends or (gulp) the driver’s license. I was texting with one of my dearest about her teenagers and the new season she has entered that doesn’t seem easier (she’s a baby whisperer, though, which I am not. Arguing, now THAT I can handle). I digress. I think at that point when we’re past 8 pm bedtimes and wiping their own butt, there will be new challenges that will pull me from the all the things I hope and aspire to do. This conversation also kept me up at night- realizing I’d have an 18,16, and 15 year old some day- FOR THE LOVE.
Here are my options:
- Hire a babysitter to help more. At $10-$12 dollars an hour, this is an investment I have to consider.
- Bemoan my life and cry myself to sleep
- Roll with the Seasons, knowing that I’m confident in what my life looks like as long as my value system is in place (God, family, schooling my kids, 284750 other things).
You know when I get most off track? When I take off my blinders and look what everyone else is doing. I discuss that here.
So all this mumbling– since I’ve hit the aforementioned sunk-– is to say this. THIS IS A SEASON. And before long, there will be another season of motherhood. And then another. And by God’s grace I’m going to give myself some grace.
My self-examination this week has led to the following thoughts:
- I’m not sure I will ever enjoy cooking mostly because cooking makes a giant mess. If my family eats 1 pizza a week, NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE.
- Sleep is important. When I do not sleep enough I am crabby. I would rather be crappy at life (you know, as in failing at some things) than crabby in life! My kids (and husband) remember crabbiness. The most toxic people I’ve been around just weren’t joyful. Now we don’t have to run around like Buddy the Elf all of the time, but I choose joy (and this is why again, that newborn stage is sooo hard).
- ORDER THE PIZZA BECAUSE NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE AND KIDS LIKE PIZZA AND THEY DON’T CRY OVER PIZZA.
I’m happy to end the mom guilt. This season will turn into the next one and there is no way I’ll ever feel like I’m doing enough. Moms, let’s all show each other the grace that we want. Let’s bask in it. And let’s be less crabby and more crappy! Ha!! (<- And 5 people just stopped reading my blog forever).